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As Christian moms and moms in general, we often tell our children that having a positive mindset is key to making their day go more smoothly or giving them a better attitude.
However, when we are struggling with things or life is overwhelming, we are quick to ignore our own advice. Aren’t we?
Setting the Stage
Christian moms face many of the same issues as non-believers. Sometimes there are more battles in our lives and families because we are Christians. We are tempted and tested in life to do things that others may not see as a struggle.
Today, I want to give you some actionable tips for how to bring back a positive mindset in adversity. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel when facing life’s challenges when you are in the right mindset.
Embracing God’s Promises
You and I both know that God is faithful. Anything He has promised to us, He will do. His Word says that if we ask in faith and believing then He will provide.
Holding on to God’s Promises
There are times in life that we live on God’s promises and life is good.
Other times, we have to cling to His promises because we can’t see the good in life.
I don’t know which of those stages you are in right now, but I want you to hold on to hope and know that God is with you in your times of plenty and need. He will never leave or forsake you.
Keep a journal with you. Go through your Bible and write down God’s promises.
As you go through your daily routines, take note of the times that He keeps those promises. Write down the date and how He kept His promise.
When life gets tough, you can go back through that and hold on to those times, until times get better again.
Power of Prayer
My family’s motto over the years has been “God’s got a plan.” Through this past year, as an extended family (parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, daughter, everyone) we have had some serious struggles.
Our new phrase has become “But God!” We have watched God do so many things in about 13 months.
My baby nephew, Brycen (whose story I will have to tell in totality another day) was born with some heart issues. Since he was born, he has had 3 (yes THREE!) open heart surgeries. He has been in the hospital over ½ of his life. Honestly, he’s there right now recovering from surgery #3.
He has some other health issues too, But God!
When my sister was just a couple months along in her pregnancy, the doctor told her that Brycen didn’t have a left femur. His knee was attached to his hip. As a family, we prayed.
A few weeks later, the doctor said that he had a very short femur. We kept praying.
Now that he is here, the doctors have examined his leg to find that his left hip is out of joint. Once they get that back in place (after all the heart stuff is settled down some), Brycen’s left leg will only be a little shorter than his right leg.
I have a family member (who I didn’t ask if I could talk about, so I won’t name names) who had cancer. You see that word “HAD”? Yep! This person went through surgery and is going through a medical trial for treatment, but there is no more cancer!
No one can tell me that prayer doesn’t work.
When life starts getting too hard. Stop; take a breath. Say a prayer.
Then you can say it too: BUT GOD!
Although praying isn’t always easy, prayer is a great way to hold on to a positive mindset in adversity.
As you are praying, remember to pray the scriptures. At the end of my post about Praying the Scriptures, grab your free guide.
Claiming God’s Peace
Anytime we face adversity, it’s hard to feel the peace that God can supply.
However, it’s in those times that we have to claim His peace in our lives.
When I was growing up, my church used to sing this song. (The chorus we sang starts at the 0:30 mark.)
Sometimes now when I feel like the world is going crazy around me, I hum or sing that to myself. It’s amazing how the simple lyrics to that chorus can bring a calming Spirit into whatever is going on in my life.
Keeping a positive mindset in adversity is easier to do when we have friends and mentors who are beside us.
As Christians, we need to have people in our lives who will stand in the gap for us in prayer. When we can’t pray for ourselves, they can pray for us. We can do the same for them, when they are struggling.
Find some Christian friends, at church or in mom’s groups, who you can turn to for wisdom and guidance when things get tough.
There are many types of self-care. I actually covered 5 types in this post.
Have you ever heard the reasoning behind why you are supposed to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others do the same on an airplane? If not, it’s simple. You can’t help others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.
As a Christian mom, you have to take care of yourself. Does that mean that you need manicures, pedicures, and massages every week? Probably not, but it might.
What it does mean is that you are taking care of yourself. Reading your Bible, praying, meditating on Scripture.
You are focusing your mind on the things that you can control, and you are allowing God to take care of the things out of your control.
When you take care of yourself, you are more capable of taking care of your children and others in your life who need you.
Finding Moments of Peace in Chaos
As moms, our official titles are often “Chaos Wranglers.” We control schedules, meals, chauffeur duties, and so much more.
When three people have to be at different places at the same time, we are the ones who are in charge of managing that.
Sometimes in order to do everything we need to in a week (or day, or hour), we need to find a moment of peace.
Walk into the bathroom or out into the backyard.
Take a deep breath and thank God for allowing you to have the life you have.
Before returning to the chaos, take another deep breath and go back to what you were doing. Allow God to give you a sense of peace in the chaos.
Fostering a Heart of Thankfulness
Over the course of a couple of months, I wrote an entire series about gratitude. When you get a minute, head over and check it out. I’ll link the LAST post here. It has all of the others linked to it as well.
Gratitude isn’t easy. But, most good things aren’t, are they?
You have to set yourself up for success. Write in a gratitude journal. You can use the same one you got to write down God’s promises. Trust me; when you track God’s promises, you will have a lot to be grateful for.
Keeping Healthy Habits
When it comes to taking care of our families, we are top-notch. We get everything done and rarely ask for help.
Taking care of ourselves should be the same way.
We have to keep healthy habits to be able to stay well.
I am not saying that you have to go to the gym every day or you can’t have chocolate! Even when I went to the gym every day, I still ate chocolate.
The most healthy thing we can do is find a balance. Indulge in our wants (chocolate, late night reading, running a 5K) but keep our needs at the forefront (veggies, plenty of sleep, proper training).
Strike a balance in your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Ask God for guidance in these areas. He has a plan, and He will help you to do what is right.
Building a Support System
Earlier I mentioned seeking wisdom to help support your positive mindset in adversity.
One way to do that is to find a group of Christian moms or friends who share the same experiences and values as you. Meet with them as much as needed (or as much as possible) so that you can glean knowledge from their words and stories.
Learning from Mentors
Pastors are mentors. However, most of the time, pastors are men. Don’t get me wrong; they can be very helpful when you are talking to them about parenting.
Sometimes we just need to have a Spiritual mother. Find a lady in your church who will “adopt” you as her own. Ask her to share your burdens as she prays to the Father for you.
When I was growing up, we had “Prayer Mothers.” They would meet with us after church once a month. Between those meetings, they would call us, send us letters, or give us small gifts. I think I still have a bracelet that my Prayer Mother gave me. To this day, she still prays for me and checks on me when I see her at church. She also sends me letters and calls me when God puts me in her heart.
Find a “Prayer Mother” who will check in with you and help you to keep a positive mindset in adversity. We all need someone who will do that for us.
Collaborating with Other Moms in Adversity
If you are in a moms’ group, you will find that many of us experience the same things at the same times. At the end of the school year, things start getting hectic. Holidays are crazy, and trying to get ready for school to start again is nuts.
Adversity doesn’t have to mean catastrophic; it could be that life is more hectic than it needs to be.
Share your experiences. Find out how you can support one another.
Can you all go shopping together for back-to-school items? Split the list up. One person gets all the crayons. Another gets the markers. Someone else finds the composition books.
At the end of the trip, separate out what is needed for each child. It could be like a scavenger hunt. Anything that the students want to pick out for themselves (backpacks and headphones) can be left to individual families. However, wouldn’t it take some of the stress off of you if someone found all 12 packs of dry erase markers that you need for you?
Work together. Help one another out. Have some fun and keep a positive mindset in adversity, especially when it’s a common chaos for all of you.
Harnessing Digital Support
There are a number of places online where you can find motivation, tips, and help as a Christian mom. One of those places is my Instagram; yes, I know it’s a shameless plug, but you should follow me.
Find Facebook groups or online forums for Christian moms. Communicate with the people there and get some support for your chaos and adversity. I would venture to say that someone in the group is going through or has gone through something very similar to your situation. Ask questions. Message people.
Finding Purpose in Adversity
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 is the “every season” section. It begins with “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
Because of this, we know that the old saying is true; “Everything happens for a reason.”
Discovering God’s Plan
As Christians, we know that God has a plan for our lives. Jeremiah tells us that His plan for us is for good and not for bad.
The problem is that most of the time we want it all now instead of waiting on His timing to get what He wants us to have.
When we are trying to keep a positive mindset in adversity, we have to be sure that we are praying and seeking God’s plan and timing for everything that is going on.
Turning Tests into Testimonies
For the past two years, I have been working to compile some of the stories of miracles and amazing things God has done in my family.
Earlier I mentioned my baby nephew, but his leg is not his only story. Before his story is over, I’m sure I’ll have enough for an entire book just about him. (I could be biased, but he’s amazing!)
Every test you go through is part of your testimony. Oftentimes it feels like we are broken down, but we are just getting ready for our breakthrough.
Even in the midst of adversity, you can tell others about the amazing, powerful things God has done for you. Share your story.
Tell your testimony so that you can help others to see what’s possible with God.
Recognizing Personal Growth
In your journal, where you are writing God’s promises and your gratitude, also write how you are changing and growing.
God won’t plant you in a place, if He can’t help you grow there. Take the time to write down how you are different now that at the beginning of this trial.
Overcoming Mom Guilt and Doubt
No matter what we do, we are going to doubt ourselves or feel guilty for doing it. As Christian moms, we have to be able to overcome that so that we can find our positive mindset in adversity.
Embracing Being a Christian Mom
Motherhood is challenging. The old adage is that “children don’t come with instructions.” If they did, what good would it do? Every child is different? You can’t write one set of instructions and give it to every parent. Would every family get a new instruction book for every child? If you have multiple children and you don’t write their names on the book, you’ll try to use the wrong book for the wrong child.
That would never work.
Embrace the journey. Learn as you go. Allow God to lead you in how to raise your children.
Letting Go of Guilt
Several weeks ago, I wrote a post about mom guilt.
No matter how good we are at motherhood, we will feel guilty about something. We will feel bad because we went to a friend’s house for dinner and didn’t stay home with our children.
Sometimes, our friends make us feel bad (without always knowing) because we tell them NO and stay with our children.
We have to turn loose of the guilt and know that God is guiding us to the things He wants in our lives. We should not feel guilty for the things God is allowing us to do or have.
Raising Resilient Children
Our most important job as Christian moms is to raise our children according to God’s word.
He tells us to “raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he won’t depart from it.”
I always took that to mean that if I raised my child in church she wouldn’t stop going or turn from God. However, my pastor gave a different perspective. He said that if we raise our children in church and with the Word of God, even if they go away from God (as people sometimes do, right?) they will still have that in their hearts and minds.
The Word of God will not leave them, and therefore they can’t depart from it.
Think about that. No matter what our children decide to do in their lives, God is always with them. He will protect them and lead them better than we ever could.
How do we raise resilient children? We pray for them. When they are upset or hurting, we talk to them and help them to pray for themselves. We teach them how to read the Bible and what having loving, Christian friends can do.
Our job is to give our children the tools to use so they can bounce back when they are facing adversity.
Reflecting on the Journey
Once you have completed your trial and are standing on the other side of your adversity, look back at it for just a minute.
Celebrate your growth and how much strength you have gained. Write your testimony in your journal. By now you may need a new one because that one is getting full.
No matter what season you are facing in your life right now, be encouraged that God is with you. He is beside you, behind you, or carrying you through your adversity.
Keeping a positive mindset in adversity is one of the best ways to get started on your testimony for God.
Leave a comment below to tell me some of your testimony! How have you kept a positive mindset in adversity with God?