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Are you looking for new friends? I’m about to tell you how to find Christian friends.
Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (NIV)
Think about those statements.
Top 5 People
Who are the 5 people with whom you spend most of your time? What are they like?
Yes, you should take a couple of minutes to list these people and answer a few questions about them.
Questions to Answer about Each Person
–Is she a strong Christian who is devoted to following God?
–If the person is married, is his/her marriage a strong, Godly marriage?
–Does this person have children? How does she raise the children?
–Where did you meet this person?
No one is perfect; we all know that. Just look at and think about your top 5 people.
Just so you know, you don’t have to get rid of all your friends just because they don’t quite live up to a Christian standard. However, you may find new people to hang out with more, and these new people could become part of your top 5 list.
Why We Need Christian Friends
Proverbs 13:20 says, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” (KJV)
Basically, that verse says the company we keep rubs off on us. We should be smart when choosing with whom we are spending our time.
The passion of your friends will ignite passion in you. If your friends are pursuing Christ, then you will more likely do the same. However, when your friends are chasing after the world, you will as well.
Christian friends can be an essential part of discipleship, spiritual growth, and accountability. They can help you to do what you need to do in your walk with the Lord.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 talks about how two people are better than one because they can get more things completed and help one another. If one makes a mistake or is ill, the other can fix it or pick up the slack. That’s what Christian friends can do in your life.
They help us endure hard times by having faith for us when ours is weakened by life.
How to Meet Christian Friends
Go to Where the People Are
Where do Christian people hang out? Go to those places.
I’m sure you can make a list, but here are a few for you.
Sports Practices with Children
MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) Groups
Community Events (not hosted by churches)
Community Events (hosted by other churches)
Christians hang out everywhere! Sometimes, you just have to open your mouth and speak to others in order to meet them.
I don’t have a problem with this. Talking to others comes easily to me. For example, if I’m in an elevator, I will speak to the others so that I don’t feel awkward standing in silence. I cannot handle being closed in with people and not speaking to them. (Ask my husband and daughter. I’m pretty sure they hate this.)
If you are part of a church community, join a team or committee there. Churches are always looking for volunteers, and it’s a great way to meet new people.
Volunteer at church events. If your church is hosting a community event, find a way to help out and meet others from the area.
Find a school where you can volunteer. Sometimes this is harder because most schools require a background check, and right now, those can take forever.
Join a class or a gym. If you have a hobby, like photography, take a class or join a club. Go to the gym. You can meet a lot of people there. Even when I had my earbuds in on the treadmill, people would talk to me. You can learn a lot about a person while you are walking a mile or two beside him/her.
If your local library has groups or meetings for adults, join one. Or, if you have kids, take your kids to the myriad of activities the library plans every month.
When you make connections with others, reach out and get intentional about it. Speak to the other person, as I do in elevators. Who am I kidding? I do it everywhere! Be intentional about it. Give the other person a reason to respond to what you are saying. Sometimes, a simple “hi” doesn’t get a response from people.
Find a reason to get his/her contact information. Ask if she is on Facebook or Instagram. Find him/her there, if you aren’t brave (bold) enough to ask for a phone number. There are times when getting a phone number or contact information is really easy to work into the conversation, but sometimes it’s not so simple.
Invite him/her to do something. It doesn’t have to be a one-on-one thing. If you are part of a women’s group at church, ask the lady with whom you are speaking to join you one day. That would be a good reason to get her contact information so you can send the next date and time to her. If a group of friends is going bowling, ask the guy with whom you are talking to come. Always let the other person know that there is no pressure to show up and you can always send information about a different time if needed.
Finally, if you have kids, ask to get together and let the kids play at the park or somewhere fun and safe. Most of the time, parents like to get their kids together with others, if only to be able to have conversations with other adults.
Meet Friends of Your Friends
You have a bestie. She has friends other than you. I know; I was shocked with I learned this about my best friend too!
If your friend is part of a Bible study or book club, and you have been invited, show up! Go. Meet new people. Your friend will introduce you to the group. You don’t have to do the hard part of speaking first if you don’t want to.
When your friend invites you to a wedding, graduation, holiday party, birthday party, or anything fun, go. You never know who you might meet that would have never crossed your path without that event.
If/when your friend invites you to a house party because another friend sells purses, makeup, jewelry, or whatever, just go. It helps your friend earn free stuff, and that’s probably the only reason she is having the party in the first place. This is also another way for you to meet friends of your friend. (Note: As someone who has sold a few different things at house parties, it really is more fun if people show up even if they don’t purchase anything. Games get a little boring with 1-2 people versus 10-12 people.)
Use Online Communities
Meeting new people in person is best. I say that for a few reasons, but one reason is that you can see that she is a real person. Online people can be a little sneaky, unfortunately.
On Facebook, you can join communities for Christian Moms, Christian Singles, Christian Women, or Christian ______________ (add whatever hobby or interest you have). I am in groups for scrapbookers, writers, bloggers, and readers, just to name a few. I love being able to connect with others who do the same things as me and hold some of the same values. (Notice I said “some.” Just remember that no one is perfect. You will never find anyone with whom you agree on 100% of everything!)
You can find local groups online as well so that you can connect with people who are in your area and with whom just haven’t crossed paths yet.
Instagram is another place to search, but sometimes you don’t know where those people are located. That is another reason why in-person is best. The person is there already, you don’t have to figure out where she lives.
Reconnect with Old Friends
You can send a message to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Call up an old roommate from college and hope she has the same number as then. Connect online with friends you haven’t spoken to lately.
This could get a conversation started and a friendship rekindled.
Wear Clothing that Shares Your Faith
If you don’t have any, you can check out the designs in my Etsy shop–Heartwork by Leslie.
What To Do When You Meet New People
I’ve told you how to meet Christian friends.
Now you need to know what to do when you meet these people.
First, introduce yourself. If you are at a meeting/class, say “hello” and meet the people directly around you. That way if you are told to get into groups later, you know a couple of people.
Second, ask about them. People like to talk about themselves, generally.
Third, have some conversation starter questions ready. Yes, put them on a notepad or on your phone, if you need to. Just have them so you can refer to them.
Ask how she found the church/class/meeting. You can ask where she’s from. If it is a couple, ask how they met. Once you ask questions, listen. Show that you are interested in listening.
All of those sound like common sense, right? They are. Sometimes we just have to speak to people in order to meet them.
Amy Poehler said, “Find a group of people who challenge you and inspire you; spend a lot of your time with them, and it will change your life.”
Can you think of anything truer than this when it comes to Christian friends? If your friends challenge you and inspire you to grow closer to God, then they are great people to spend your time with. Spending time with people who encourage you in your faith and Christian walk will definitely change your life.
Choose your friends wisely. More than anything, pray for your friends–current and future. God will lead you to the right people.